My great grandma G.G. passed when I was 26 and she was 96, I am so blessed I had to chance to really grow up with her and know her because in many ways she was the one person who truly understood me, my best friend. She taught me how to pray and love God and know Him personally and she always talked about the sparrows and God's love for us in light of how He cares about the sparrows, (hence my sparrow tat, not for captn' jack like you thought...). She also instilled in me that if everyone wears red, you wear blue. That simple statement left such a huge impact on me as a kid. It was a revolutionary idea. Go against the flow, be your own person, own who you are and let no one tell you different. I'm not sure if she knows the impact it had on me, good or bad haha!
I was a strange kid, in a good way, I think... I was very shy until I started acting, in theatre that is, not just acting out. But, when asked about something I always had an opinion. I was not afraid to stand up to bullies or to my teachers if asked to read what I considered and inappropriate book. I never backed down when asked to speak less about God in my reports and never stopped our prayer circle before a performance when told it did not include everyone, even though I invited everyone. I never dated because I did not see the value in dating someone I would not marry, why waste our time? Man! How did I survive high school haha! When God is in the marrow of your bones it becomes necessity to live it out no matter what age you are. Granted, I was and am by no means perfect and I think... I have grown to show the grace I have been given. I guess thats why when the random lady in Walmart told me I should 10 or 15 pounds it did not shake me. Of course I do! Who doesn't!? lol But I know who I am and maybe it's just another shade of blue for me? Another way to rebel against what everyone thinks I should be... I will never be a size 2 nor do I want to be so blue it is! :)
Every once in a while G.G and I would talk about stuff going on in my life and if felt like she was not understanding where I coming from, I would say "G.G., if everyone wears red, I wear blue." And she would smile and squeeze my hand and say, "that's right, you do!". Lord, I miss that hand!
That was God to me as a kid and now, He was always the blue I chose to wear and still choose.
What color is He to you?
Saturday, April 30, 2011
The Bigger Picture
Thought - If everything in our lives can be explained apart from the work of God in our lives, then something in our life is wrong.
We end up being not all that we were made to be. We are living outside of His presence and in our own story instead of the one He is writing.
I listened to a teaching the other day where he said, if you would stop living in your own little story and start living in the larger one God is writing, you would find abundant joy and happiness and give up the lie of this world that says "it's all about me." Lately I am learning a lot about what it means to really press in to God and seek Him in a deeper way so that I don't miss the larger picture of what He is doing. Meaning I can be so consumed by one tiny little detail going on in my story that I miss how God is wanting use me in the bigger picture, mainly, in someone else's story. I have made so many mistakes by living in only what I can see and it does nothing to further His kingdom and that's something worth changing.
I wonder what would happen if we started living by letting the scriptures dictate our actions vs letting our story dictate how we interpret the scriptures in our lives? As Dell would say "we would turn this world upside down!" THAT'S my desire and my passion, whether I live here in the US or in another country, whether I clean toilets or serve in children's ministry, I want to live with the Holy Spirit in my life in a way that turns the world upside down! God's script is so much better than what we can come up with so just let it play out and be willing to hear Him and act on what He shows you and He is faithful to do so! We have a wonderful, merciful God whose heart breaks for His children when we hurt and rejoices with us when we have victory! There is blessing for those living in God's design and hurts and joy are all a sweet part of it.
We end up being not all that we were made to be. We are living outside of His presence and in our own story instead of the one He is writing.
I listened to a teaching the other day where he said, if you would stop living in your own little story and start living in the larger one God is writing, you would find abundant joy and happiness and give up the lie of this world that says "it's all about me." Lately I am learning a lot about what it means to really press in to God and seek Him in a deeper way so that I don't miss the larger picture of what He is doing. Meaning I can be so consumed by one tiny little detail going on in my story that I miss how God is wanting use me in the bigger picture, mainly, in someone else's story. I have made so many mistakes by living in only what I can see and it does nothing to further His kingdom and that's something worth changing.
I wonder what would happen if we started living by letting the scriptures dictate our actions vs letting our story dictate how we interpret the scriptures in our lives? As Dell would say "we would turn this world upside down!" THAT'S my desire and my passion, whether I live here in the US or in another country, whether I clean toilets or serve in children's ministry, I want to live with the Holy Spirit in my life in a way that turns the world upside down! God's script is so much better than what we can come up with so just let it play out and be willing to hear Him and act on what He shows you and He is faithful to do so! We have a wonderful, merciful God whose heart breaks for His children when we hurt and rejoices with us when we have victory! There is blessing for those living in God's design and hurts and joy are all a sweet part of it.
2 Cor. 2:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." are you willing to live in the unseen?
I choose to let the God of this universe write my story, to live by the Holy Spirit, and let the scriptures dictate my life. :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Oh by the way.... Thailand.
I'm going to Thailand! Lord willing...
I have been praying about a lot of things including missions and well God has laid Thailand on my heart, randomly out of the blue, it was not on my list of things I was praying about! But... since He did, I kept it quiet and told no one cause I wanted to be sure I was not crazy... I asked a few girls to pray and fast with me and I asked the Lord that if Thailand was where He wanted me, to just have someone, anyone, just walk up to me and say "Thailand!" cause that sounded like a good plan to me!? haha!
A few weeks ago at Barros pizza, we walked in to order and it’s been the same two girls working there forever and randomly the brunette tells me "guess what!? I got accepted to teach overseas next summer!" and I said "yay congrats, where?" and she goes "THAILAND!" so I laughed, "haha!" and even though it was not a direct, "Rae, God says go to Thailand super spiritual moment", I felt it was exactly what I did pray for! I took a step of faith and filled out the application. I was accepted!
I'll be going to Bangkok, Thailand with a group called Adventures in Missions, I will leave end of October and return in about 2 weeks I think. I found this trip through something else I was looking at and when I saw the nature of the trip I knew this was it and why the Lord had said Thailand.
The nature of the trip is human trafficking and it's an area He placed on my heart right before moving to China. The team will focus first on ministry to trafficked young women and children in two major red light districts-Patpong and Nana District. The goal is that we will see with His eyes and feel with His heart as we encounter various opportunities for ministry relative to human trafficking. Our overall mission is to encourage, uplift, and work alongside ministries which have been working diligently inside Thailand for many years in these areas. We want to offer hope in Jesus and a way out of that lifestyle! It's an intense trip so they only take 15 women and keep it short; therefore we need Lots of prayer!
How You Can Pray:
-Against spiritual attack
-Pray for the women and children stuck in the cycles of human trafficking.
-Pray for the relationships we will form with the women in the major red light districts.
-Pray for the Patpong and Nana Districts and the people who flock to these areas as a way of getting away and handling their own rejection.
-Safety
-Pray my heart would be teachable and flexable cause this is a rough area where sometimes I think a machette would be more effective (kidding..)
At this point I have paid my deposit to secure my spot, but I am confident God will provide the rest. I feel so blessed He would give me the opportunity to go and I am excited to see what He does! Friends and family join me in prayer for the trip because I know it will be pretty emotionally and spiritually intense and I am not sure I am equipped for this area, but I am willing to go. :)
Thank you all for your love & support!
In His Love,
Rae
Come follow Me to the darkest places Come to the hurting, the howling, hallow faces, Come with Me to the addicted, convicted, and caught, Come with your light, run with your salt, Come to the sorrow; the suicide tree Come to the stable, Come follow Me. Amen!
I have been praying about a lot of things including missions and well God has laid Thailand on my heart, randomly out of the blue, it was not on my list of things I was praying about! But... since He did, I kept it quiet and told no one cause I wanted to be sure I was not crazy... I asked a few girls to pray and fast with me and I asked the Lord that if Thailand was where He wanted me, to just have someone, anyone, just walk up to me and say "Thailand!" cause that sounded like a good plan to me!? haha!
A few weeks ago at Barros pizza, we walked in to order and it’s been the same two girls working there forever and randomly the brunette tells me "guess what!? I got accepted to teach overseas next summer!" and I said "yay congrats, where?" and she goes "THAILAND!" so I laughed, "haha!" and even though it was not a direct, "Rae, God says go to Thailand super spiritual moment", I felt it was exactly what I did pray for! I took a step of faith and filled out the application. I was accepted!
I'll be going to Bangkok, Thailand with a group called Adventures in Missions, I will leave end of October and return in about 2 weeks I think. I found this trip through something else I was looking at and when I saw the nature of the trip I knew this was it and why the Lord had said Thailand.
The nature of the trip is human trafficking and it's an area He placed on my heart right before moving to China. The team will focus first on ministry to trafficked young women and children in two major red light districts-Patpong and Nana District. The goal is that we will see with His eyes and feel with His heart as we encounter various opportunities for ministry relative to human trafficking. Our overall mission is to encourage, uplift, and work alongside ministries which have been working diligently inside Thailand for many years in these areas. We want to offer hope in Jesus and a way out of that lifestyle! It's an intense trip so they only take 15 women and keep it short; therefore we need Lots of prayer!
How You Can Pray:
-Against spiritual attack
-Pray for the women and children stuck in the cycles of human trafficking.
-Pray for the relationships we will form with the women in the major red light districts.
-Pray for the Patpong and Nana Districts and the people who flock to these areas as a way of getting away and handling their own rejection.
-Safety
-Pray my heart would be teachable and flexable cause this is a rough area where sometimes I think a machette would be more effective (kidding..)
At this point I have paid my deposit to secure my spot, but I am confident God will provide the rest. I feel so blessed He would give me the opportunity to go and I am excited to see what He does! Friends and family join me in prayer for the trip because I know it will be pretty emotionally and spiritually intense and I am not sure I am equipped for this area, but I am willing to go. :)
Thank you all for your love & support!
In His Love,
Rae
Come follow Me to the darkest places Come to the hurting, the howling, hallow faces, Come with Me to the addicted, convicted, and caught, Come with your light, run with your salt, Come to the sorrow; the suicide tree Come to the stable, Come follow Me. Amen!
I have a confession...
I am not a missionary. Don't get mad at me, yet...
When I moved home from China that completed my 5th or 6th "mission trip", but I have never considered myself a "missionary". I was approached by someone asking about how I like being a missionary and I thought, "Well, I'm not, I'm a Christian and I am just living out what He has called me to do." I guess I never looked at myself as a missionary mainly because I never thought of myself as someone who could stand in front of a crowd or walk up to a stranger and share God's word to bring them into a personal relationship with Him. Or that I had to live over seas or travel to another country to be one. In my naive christian eyes that was a missionary to me and I did not fit all of that bill so how could I be one?
Until God showed me more.
I had a realization awhile before moving to China that the Lord used in my life to set me free of the pressures of that word. I always expected that to wear the badge of "missionary" that it has to come with a tally of those you have saved, like "we" in and of ourselves actually do the saving, ha! I was always so nervous to carry the weight of it because I knew I could not live up to it. God showed me that His word does not say "Missionaries, go out into all the world and make disciples...." it says simply, "GO!" That's when the burden lifted and He showed me that its the duty of all believers to be a light to this world, not just someone who is deemed a missionary and there are many ways that He uses us to share the word of God in order to lead others to know Him. I learned long before China that I had a gift for building relationships with people I did not really know and He has used that to bring others to Him by just living among people and being in each others lives. Some, have the gift of just saying, "hey you need Jesus" and people come to know Him and its Amazing! I think that is the beauty and complexity of our Lord. We assume because we do not live or travel to foreign countries that we are not missionaries, but brothers and sisters, you are! You are a believer and you have a gift inside of you that He desires you to use! The word tells us that they will know we are His disciples by our love. It should flow out of us like oxygen and His spirit in us is not something the world can ignore! Sometimes you just give someone a cup of water, others you give the word of truth and sometimes you end up giving the non-homeless guy you thought really was homeless fruit snacks and all can be used to lead others to Him. The good news is when He does call you to speak, He is faithful to fill you up with words, I have seen Him do it in my life many times. We are by default, missionaries, by simply living the life He has called us too!
Therefore, GO!
I guess I have a confession...
I AM a Missionary ;)
In His Love,
Rae
When I moved home from China that completed my 5th or 6th "mission trip", but I have never considered myself a "missionary". I was approached by someone asking about how I like being a missionary and I thought, "Well, I'm not, I'm a Christian and I am just living out what He has called me to do." I guess I never looked at myself as a missionary mainly because I never thought of myself as someone who could stand in front of a crowd or walk up to a stranger and share God's word to bring them into a personal relationship with Him. Or that I had to live over seas or travel to another country to be one. In my naive christian eyes that was a missionary to me and I did not fit all of that bill so how could I be one?
Until God showed me more.
I had a realization awhile before moving to China that the Lord used in my life to set me free of the pressures of that word. I always expected that to wear the badge of "missionary" that it has to come with a tally of those you have saved, like "we" in and of ourselves actually do the saving, ha! I was always so nervous to carry the weight of it because I knew I could not live up to it. God showed me that His word does not say "Missionaries, go out into all the world and make disciples...." it says simply, "GO!" That's when the burden lifted and He showed me that its the duty of all believers to be a light to this world, not just someone who is deemed a missionary and there are many ways that He uses us to share the word of God in order to lead others to know Him. I learned long before China that I had a gift for building relationships with people I did not really know and He has used that to bring others to Him by just living among people and being in each others lives. Some, have the gift of just saying, "hey you need Jesus" and people come to know Him and its Amazing! I think that is the beauty and complexity of our Lord. We assume because we do not live or travel to foreign countries that we are not missionaries, but brothers and sisters, you are! You are a believer and you have a gift inside of you that He desires you to use! The word tells us that they will know we are His disciples by our love. It should flow out of us like oxygen and His spirit in us is not something the world can ignore! Sometimes you just give someone a cup of water, others you give the word of truth and sometimes you end up giving the non-homeless guy you thought really was homeless fruit snacks and all can be used to lead others to Him. The good news is when He does call you to speak, He is faithful to fill you up with words, I have seen Him do it in my life many times. We are by default, missionaries, by simply living the life He has called us too!
Therefore, GO!
I guess I have a confession...
I AM a Missionary ;)
In His Love,
Rae
I Believed in God, so I spoke.
2 Corinthians 4
1 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2 Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. 3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5 For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
All I can say is I am continually humbled by my Savior! There is so much in this chapter I am eating up, such as...
"And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing." I love how the scripture describing "understanding" as a "veil" think about it, they are basically transparent! So thin and see through yet completely successful in hiding the truth. How much more are we needed as believers to lift the veil for others as Christ has lifted it for us.
"Let light shine out of darkness," We have talked about light and darkness a lot lately in different things and I am reminded that without darkness, there is nothing for the light (us) to burn away. Seek out the darkest places and illuminate the truth.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I am continually challenged by this verse because taking every thought captive and not succumbing to the thoughts and pressures of this world is beyond my capabilities without His help! I fail, a lot, yet, I press on ;)
"I Believed in God, so I spoke." this was in the NLT version and I loved it! so simple.
"We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." Wow, I am sooo moved by this! I guess I have never really looked at this verse in this way. Yes, I know we have the Him inside of us, but to look at it as carrying His death in order that His life may be revealed in us is such a privilege to me and hopefully to you. I think its just that beautiful reflection of the personal and deep relationship we can have with our Savior. My prayer is that I learn to live this out more and more and for you too!
anyways, just ramblings I guess :)
Have a beautiful day!
1 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2 Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. 3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5 For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c] faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. 15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
All I can say is I am continually humbled by my Savior! There is so much in this chapter I am eating up, such as...
"And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing." I love how the scripture describing "understanding" as a "veil" think about it, they are basically transparent! So thin and see through yet completely successful in hiding the truth. How much more are we needed as believers to lift the veil for others as Christ has lifted it for us.
"Let light shine out of darkness," We have talked about light and darkness a lot lately in different things and I am reminded that without darkness, there is nothing for the light (us) to burn away. Seek out the darkest places and illuminate the truth.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I am continually challenged by this verse because taking every thought captive and not succumbing to the thoughts and pressures of this world is beyond my capabilities without His help! I fail, a lot, yet, I press on ;)
"I Believed in God, so I spoke." this was in the NLT version and I loved it! so simple.
"We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." Wow, I am sooo moved by this! I guess I have never really looked at this verse in this way. Yes, I know we have the Him inside of us, but to look at it as carrying His death in order that His life may be revealed in us is such a privilege to me and hopefully to you. I think its just that beautiful reflection of the personal and deep relationship we can have with our Savior. My prayer is that I learn to live this out more and more and for you too!
anyways, just ramblings I guess :)
Have a beautiful day!
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